Celebrity Update of the Day

Here is your celebrity update of the day: 


1. Jason Lee from My Name Is Earl has welcomed a baby boy! Let's clap it up for Sonny Lee! 


2. John Travolta: He has been sued by a Cruise Ship worker, for "attacking" him. Apparently, John disrobed and then pushed the man? The first accuser (the masseuse) dropped his charges. Let's see if this one sticks. 


I think there is something whack in the head with this man. The whole family is kinda whack, but John here is the leader. He may try to keep calm and cool on the outside, but I know one day, someone will come forward with the story of a lifetime. (Personally I think Mr Travolta is "rooting for the other team" if you know what I mean.) He was great in Grease and that disco movie, and I'm sure he was in some other movies too, but sadly, I just don't care that much to begin with about him! 


3. Speaking of people I do not care about: Paris Jackson has cut her hair. Or changed her hair. Sound the media horns, a woman has cut her hair?! Seriously? This is news story worthy? This was on the front page of yahoo.com. First of all, yes, sad her dad died. Boo freaking hoo. It's been 3 years. Her dad, the king of pop, Michael Jackson, spent basically her lifetime keeping her from the press. He did a damn good job at it too. I understand his motives, but it's like anything she does, say, walks, wears, whatever... is now broadcasted to me? Um no thanks. I didn't like Michael Jackson all that much when he was alive, and now that he is dead I don't want to be forced to care about his daughter. *does MJ whoo-whoo sound*


4. Zack Galifinakas is engaged. See people, money does buy you happiness! I bet she's beautiful. Congrats Zackie! 


5. Alex Trebeck hospitalized after suffering a minor heart attack. I'll have "Hospitals for 400" Alex! Get well soon! 


6. Charlie Sheen has found work again. I know I don't give a flying fuck what this sex addicted coke head does! Won't be seeing his movie, or watching his show! Seriously, who in their right mind gives this man work again? I didn't like his stupid Two Men show to begin with, I mean Alan is the most annoying character to watch ever. And you mean to tell me that women are knocking down the door to get to...Charlie Sheen? I must have missed that memo. Could also be i'm not on crack, or drunk. I'll check back with ya'll if I ever find him attractive. Don't keep holding your breath! 


7. Janelle Evans, the weed addicted mom on Teen Mom, was arrested for assault last night at a bar. Hey big surprise here, she had weed on her! Everyone should find her mug shot, it's sad, and funny at the same time. Maybe if you were at home, with your child, you that wouldn't have happened. Oh wait, you'd have to have CUSTODY of your child first. I give props to her mom though, taking care of that baby boy! They should re-name Teen Mom to "I'm a whore and you'll see me in jail in no time!" 


8. Spice Girls have released a picture of them, like 15 years after they covered the world in Girl Power. I wasn't much of a fan (I literally know their one big hit here in the USA and then one other song) The girls havent aged much, Baby Spice still looks like a baby. We all know who Posh married. Scary spice is un scary. Sporty Spice isn't fat. And Ginger Spice? Well, she's still a red head. 


"Color to the world,(spiceupyourlife) Every boy and every girl, (spiceupyourlife), something something something...AHHHHHHHHHHHH


Yeah, that song rocks my fucking socks off, I aint afraid to admit it! 


9. Mr Woodchuck - Uncle Joey's faithful woodchuck was recently mauled by a dog. He lost his mouth in the attack. Poor Mr. Woodchuck!