What If

I go through life with a lot of, "What if's?" 

"What if my grandpa wasn't killed by a 19 year old drunk driver?"

"What if Kevin would have never killed himself?" 

"What is Kasey Kahne married me?"

"What if I had an easy life?" 

I didn't have the toughest childhood in the world, but I have been through some stuff. I have seen, heard, and gone along with a lot of things. Once I grew up (and it took time, actually, I still am growing up!) I realized that it's just a bunch of What if's! 

"What if this car decided to come into my lane right now?"

That sentence describes my irrational fear of dying in a car.

"What if this storm coming had a tornado?" (which would go into) "What do I need to go and "batton down" in the backyard? / Where would I take Skyleigh during a tornado?"

"What if I would have turned left instead of doing straight?" 

"What if we would have gotten that other kitten instead of this one?"

Anything can be a What if question. 

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One of my Favorite bands, Simple Plan, has a song that is called What If. It's a great song, you should check it out sometime. Here are some of the lyrics: 

What if I lead the way?
What if I graduate?
What if I change the world?
Would you still remember me?
What if I lead the way?
What if I graduate?
What if I change the world
And I found the words to tell you what you mean to me?

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This song just rocks and comes back to my mind whenever I try and think what to blog. 

"What if I was a good blogger?" 

"What if I thought people actually care what I write?" 

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I am a good writer. I have always been one. 

Actually I have weird handwriting. 

Funny story: 

When I was in Elementary School (in 6th grade) one of my teachers kept sending notes home for my dad begging him to "work" on my handwriting. This was back when they still taught cursive (or wanted to teach cursive) and the desire to learn the cursive z was escaping me. 

I have about 3 different handwriting's I have mastered. 

A big "girly" bubbly one, a very "arial" type font, and then my messy scribble handwriting. 

Of course my three handwriting's can be broken down into other handwriting's if the paper is tilted. 

I have watched many shows on people that study handwriting's, and I bet them 50 dollars I can write my y's and d's differently each one. Can't find a similar bubble lettering with it! I'm smarter than the average bear! 

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So "What if?"

"What if I still had your attention while reading this?"

"What if I had a different life?" 

Of course, if I had a different life, I would be very different. I wouldn't even want to imagine the sheltered child that would have brought up! I was a sheltered child, becoming myself around the age of 20. At least I like to think so. Raised by my dad has been hard on me. Lots of issues in my brain because of this. 

"What if my parents never had gotten a divorce?" 

They probably would have murdered each other, then us. 

I'm happy my parents both love me, and aren't crazy child killers. Us as a family do have PLENTY of problems (I could write a book!) but I get over them. 

I do complain a lot. 

I know I do. 

I don't really care. 

What if I cared? 

What if?