The Mural

Downtown Ft. Worth. Sundance square.


They are building something in the actual "square", I'm not too thrilled about it. I'm sure this will be covered up, as they are going to build some sort of outdoor theater.

Relief

Nothing scares me the most than being on hold for a doctor whilst awaiting test results.


I can pace and smoke as many cigarettes as possible, but nothing will make time tick by faster.


I have recently been losing some of my hair, basically receding in a way. Not noticeable from "normal" glance, but if I flip my hair over you can see. I am convinced after hours of research online that I have a form of Alopecia.


Now, as I mentioned in a previous post about the weight issues, I recently went back to the doctor to find out about the hair loss. I was was nervous, actually not having been to a doctor in literally 10plus years (other than my "baby" doctor), to see what he had said. I also had lost about 10 pounds after my current "stress breaker" of moving back in with my parents/having two jobs/raising baby etc.


He never said weather my already gone hair will grow back, I hope it will. I also dont think it will.:(


It really is a sucky feeling to have your beautiful hair, your one thing that sets you apart, your security blanket falling out. Strand by strand.


And I can do nothing.


So, doctor pulls 5 vials of blood, and turns out *everyone gasp for this one* - perfectly healthy! other than coming up "low to normal" on D vitamin and Folic Acid, blood is fine. Platelet count is fine. I'm not fucking anemic. Ever. Wont ever be. So, I'm happy to report that I am not dying! 


He did ask me to come back for some more testing, to count my autoimmune numbers or something, and I know that has to do with the alopecia. (See, Google search does help!) 


He never said that I do have it, we are still trying to figure out why i am losing my hair. 

So, we wait. 


I've thought about posting pictures of my hair on here, but as a young impressionable woman in today's mean world I decided not too. 


I'm already put down because of one thing, I don't need another reason! 


I still find it amazing that I can hold test results that say nothing is wrong with me, and yet feel like something is wrong. It's a very hard feeling to explain. I can be having the best day, biggest smile, and one asshole's wrong look or comment can ruin my day. All because he or she is some judgmental asshole. 


I am in NO WAY perfect. I will be the first one to tell you I judge people. 


You mean to tell me I'm walking to my car on the way home, dark, and alone, and I'm not judging the homeless guy walking in front of me? Oh yeah, I've plotted out his attack in my head. He's already dragged me to the alley and chopped me up in my head. 


You mean to tell me two extremely obese ladies are running across the street to go to... The Cupcakery and I'm not gonna crack a smile? Come on people! 


Now, I'm not one to be like "Hey Fatties! Yogurt is next door!" because, that would be so rude. 


It's a dangerous double standard. I'm sick of it. 


Honestly, in my life, once I realized I am my own person and capable of achieving great things life got easier. I wasn't "against the world" or anything like that. (I have a little brother who seems to think the world is out to get him. He also smokes a lot of pot, so that may have something to do with it. I love my brother though, so fuck off.)


Once I got over what EVERYONE ELSE thought I was fine with who I am! Hell, I AM FINE. I am perfectly happy. 


Very disappointing in the doctor for first thing first, let's get you on antidepressants kinda attitude. 


I NEVER said I was depressed. 


Ever. 


I am not in any way depressed. 


Yeah, life is rough. I get over it. 


One of my favorite bands is Fall Out Boy. 


I can't even recall the song name, but there is a lyric that goes, "And I have to take a pill to make this town feel okay." 


I dont want to be like that! I'm happy! I smile! Yes, I have bad days.


It's just frustrating to feel perfectly normal and fine, and have an entire world telling you you are not. 

10 Random Facts

10 Random Facts:

1. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
2. Winston Churchill was born in the ladies room during a dance. 
3. Ants never sleep.
4. Maine is the only state with just one syllable.
5. Five thousandths of a millimeter is the tolerance of accuracy at the LEGO mold factories.
6. The microwave was invested after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. 
7. One million $1 bills weighs 1 ton. 
8. There are more chickens than people in the world.
9. More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines.
10. Experts estimate that there are about 60 million rats in NYC. 

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there. :)

You Know You're From Texas When...

-You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
-You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
-You discover that in July it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
-You know that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
-You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-You have switched from air, to hear, and back to air in the same day. 
-Hot water comes out of both taps.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

-A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.

-The only snowman in your yard is the inflatable kind
-You see a stranger bump into someone and they say, "Excuse me."
-You know why it is called Six Flags

-You have to specify for unsweetened tea.

-Whataburger is pronounced Waterburger

-You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

-You understand Boomhauer (King Of The Hill)

-You know that Arlen, Texas doesn't exist.

-You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.

-You refer to yourself as Texan, not American. 

-It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.

-Pee-Wee Herman didn't have to tell you there is no basement in The Alamo!

-You constantly correct the radio/TV when they say the Cowboys are playing in Dallas. 

-People really grow and eat okra.

-You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is.

-It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.

-It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas accent. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.

Sandusky and Edwards

One trial begins, while one ends. 


While I admit, I have not watched the actual trial, I have tried to keep up with each with online news-outlets. 


I personally believe that the Judicial System is broken. 


We have a man, Mr. John Edwards, who "could have" been spending campaign money on god knows what, involving some whore. 
His wife had cancer, and Mr. Edwards couldn't keep his dick in his pants, and got another girl pregnant. 


Now, this man wanted to run for President. Of course this was before the big scandal broke and no one knew. 


It makes you sit back and think about our Government. 


We have Secret Service men, who are sleeping with hookers. 
We have extremely corrupt police and judges out there. 
Congress is a fluke, and now they are presenting us with candidates that I don't even like for Presidency coming up. 
I almost think the "voting" system in this country is a joke too, I've tried to understand how my vote counts. I just don't think it does.


While the entire "system" may not be broken, it is already been damned. And it still sucks. 


We have one guy who is allowed (i mean, we are basically allowing him right?) to cheat on his cancer stricken wife or ex wife, whatever the heck she was, and have a "secret" child out of wedlock from a different woman. He basically had another family people. Now, while I'm sure most politicians, senators included, are very over paid for what they do, I'm sure money is playing along with this, and someone's pocket just got filled for another "look the other way" 


****


And then, we have Mr. Sandusky. A horrible excuse for a human being. He is a man that has been allegedly molesting male children for quite a few years now. Young boys. Not men, but boys. Like ages 9-11.


I don't even know why this piece of shit is still alive. Sad that we are going to spending our precious tax dollars for him to rot in jail for the rest of his life. 


I am very proud of all these boys, and men, who are testifying. It takes a great deal of courage to do what they are doing, and I wanted to let them know that this man will pay for what he has done. Maybe not in jail, maybe not here, maybe not there. But karma is a bitch, and that bitch doesn't like it when you molest little boys in the shower.


 Mr. Joe Paterno knew the boys were being molested. Other staff members knew, and they have known for YEARS that "something" was going on. 


I don't like football, and I never will like football. It sickens me to know some weird little old man, Mr. Paterno, KNEW about this, and continued to let it happen. He was a coach, the HEAD coach. Sadly, he died at the perfect fucking time, so we will never know the "real" truth with him knowing. I'm glad Penn State up and fired him, as he should have been. 


So, the Sandusky trial begins as we hope for the Judicial system to pull through and nail him! 


Edwards is still in Politics, he is on the "governments" side. Until we get a clean sweep of our ENTIRE government, I will continue to think that the government is horribly corrupt. I keep waiting to see Change (didn't obama say that?), but the only changes happening are for the worse.


It was honestly no surprise to me when they dropped everything from Edwards. It's just more proof that if you have power, money, you get what you want. And that it is okay to cheat on your wife. 


I dont see why politicians can't keep it in their pants. This isn't a "new" thing. 


Clinton. Yeah, remember him? He had a little problem too, and her name was Monica Lewinski. 


And these are only people that have gotten CAUGHT. Put your mind around that America.


Bottom line is, I expect results of people that do wrong. Oh, but if you work for America in any sort of way, we can bypass a lot of shit and just end up pulling the case at the end! 


By the way, Mr. Edwards,


Go to hell.

The Handi-Cap Van Project

http://www.ernhrtfanracing.com/mobility.html#.T7UCkBxPYdA.twitter


Please click the link and read.


Help a Marine Vet with MS get his van fixed!!!!!!!


Any donations appreciated.


Thank you for your time.

For Your One In A Million

Creative gifts are hard to come by these days. 


Anyone can get a Hallmark Card, slap a sappy simple message on it and present a folded 20 dollar bill, or even a gift card. 


A co-worker of mind (a young early 20-something male) needed a gift to buy his girlfriend for her Birthday.


"She likes stars." He tells me. 


After searching on Kohls and Walmart website looking for necklaces with stars on them, my manager mentioned buying a star for her! 


Such a simple idea, a little mad I did not think of it myself. I googled "Buy A Star", and we searched a few websites about stars. 


You purchase a star, or as they call "naming" a star, the cheapest one I found was about 60 dollars. You name it, they send you a certificate and your coordinates of your star. If you are looking for a gift that is rarely thought of, this is it for you!


He ended up going with a star necklace found on Kohls website. 


I just wanted to blog about this. 


So, go and get your mom, dad (perfect for Fathers day too!), sister brother, whomever a star! 


Stars are one in a million, as are you! :D 

Quick Braided Up Do

 My first attempt at a "braided up do". 

Took maximum 5 minutes. 

Braid hair into braided pigtails. Secure ends with hair tie. 

Take ends and tuck behind the braid (like you are just stuffing the ends of your hair behind the braid where it connects with your head), and bobby pin in place! 

Tada! 

Eye Candy!

I was born with a cataract.

The dictionary defines a cataract is a clouding of the lens of the eye. This is all well and true. 

My parents didn't figure out that I had a cataract until I was about 2 years old. 

 

This is the youngest picture of myself I could find, and my cataract was in my right eye. You can see a tad bit of cloudiness, but I understand the flash is there as well.

I had corrective surgery when I was 4, receiving a donor lens. The lens did not work, but changed my eye color. (I have one blue eye and one green eye naturally. I was born with blue eyes.) My eye color changed probably when I was about 9. 

When I was 8 years old, I was instructed to wear a patch. The goal was to cover up my good eye with a patch, leaving me to see (nothing) with the other one. I hated every minute of this. I remember peeling back the inside, then "peeking" as my mom would say. She'd yell, "No peeking!" and I'd have to close the patch back against my skin. I would sit on my rocking horse and rock for the amount of time I had to be in that patch.

Everything was fine until I turned 16, and was able to drive. 

I will never forget the idiot woman at the DMV. I had already attended my drivers ed classes, passed, been driving for a few months, and was there to take my picture! 

She has me do the eye test, so she has me read the first line. Alright, I can do that. Now, what they dont tell you, is why you are saying the letters, they switch it over to the other eye. So my screen goes black, and I looked at this woman and said, "Oh you are going to have to switch it back. I can't see out of this eye, and I'll just read a few more lines." Thinking that would be okay. 

OH NO. You'd have thought this woman had seen a ghost. 

A girl, who can't see out of an eye? She had never heard of such thing!!!! 

Asks me to go to a eye doctor, and get him to write down that I can not see out of said eye. 

So I was pissed. I hadn't been to an eye doctor in YEARS, and I'm running around town trying to find an eye doctor who can simply just write "Blind in right eye." 

I ended up going to the mall (16 year old thought process, haha), and went to the LensCrafters. I explained the situation, showed him my pretty 'I have a donor lens" card, and he agreed to help me out. 

He "eye tested" both of my eyes, and wrote whatever this lady needed down. 

I go back to the DMV. Same lady. I get up there and she wants me to take the eye test AGAIN. 

Exact same thing. "Ma'am, can you switch it back...etc." 

So, before she starts in on she needs a doctors note, i wave this stupid piece of paper and my state hospital issued card.

"Please read the bottom line." 

It's the tiniest line of letters, but I read it. I have IMPECCABLE vision, superhuman even, in my left eye. "My Superman eye." my mom calls it.

Finally, I got the damn picture taken. Beautiful perfect picture! 

___

During High School, classmates actually made fun of me because I had two different eye colors. I even wore contacts to make them the same color.  They would say I didn't really have a cataract, only old people have cataracts, whatever you can think of, they said it.

Everyone knew I couldn't see out of the eye, some people probably thought it was a fake or glass eye. 

Nope, all my eye people. Just a dead dudes LENS. That's "inside" the eye. See, if you would have paid attention in school.... you'd know this :)

I took this picture right out of high school, and it is one of the few (pictures) that actually shows the color difference. Most people don't know I'm legally blind in my right eye. When I tell them it's always, "Oh Yeah now I see the color difference!" 

I did brighten the color up just a tad in the picture.

Also, a cool tid-bit about my cataract.... my eyes are always dilated differently. Right one is smaller than the left one. Always will be. 

And that's my fun story of my cataract!